Ministry In The Age of Busy

Reality on the Ground

The dechurching phenomenon is well documented. Lots of folks are leaving church spaces (sometimes faith altogether) for a myriad of reasons. Covid seemed to add fuel to an already burning fire: it was easier to tiptoe away from church engagement without having hard conversations or engaging deep introspective work. Of course "dechurching" has shrunk quantitative engagement in church activities and programs. Since pastoral "success" is often (tragically) defined by the 3 B's (butts, budgets and buildings) it's easy for church leaders to at times feel like failures.

Increasing the challenge for church leaders, the availability and desire to engage what's happening at church seems to be waning among those who remain. It's common to navigate moments of discouragement and surprise as fewer people show up to the spaces we create. As Jake Meador writes in a recent Atlantic article entitled The Misunderstood Reason Millions of Americans Stopped Going to Church,

“The underlying challenge for many is that their lives are stretched like a rubber band about to snap—and church attendance ends up feeling like an item on a checklist that’s already too long.”

These dynamics of fewer people at church are not entirely bad. I grew up within a church context the primarily viewed discipleship as what happens within official church activities. Thriving disciples were those who were at church the most learning about God and serving alongside pastoral staff to pull off the programing of the church. Of course learning about God at church and serving with formal Christians ministries are meaningful and important aspects of following Jesus. But discipleship is so much more. Within this paradigm there was little value placed on showing up in the community outside of church programming to be the love of Christ and to work for the shalom of the city. Additionally, when primary value is placed on supporting the institutional structures of the church, good people get burnt out and feel used despite all the good intentions. Qualitative research found in the book Church Refugees documents this well. There are real consequences when church leaders assume their activities and programs are the only discipleship show in town.

Despite everything I just mentioned, I also believe there's something worth challenging amidst a culture of half-hearted commitment. It's no secret that the water we swim in is obsessed with productivity, efficiency and saying yes to any opportunity that might be fun or beneficial to us or our children. A Jam-packed shcedule is the inevitable byproduct of such values. And when we are not busy (which is probably the case more than we'd like to admit), we've got endless streaming services to entertain us, making another night in always a tempting alternative to showing up into the messiness of Jesus-centered community.

Australian pastor Mark Sayers, while channeling the work of Byung-Chul Han in his book PsychoPolitics, rightly points out that culture has radically changed in a way that profoundly impacts church engagement. Cultures shaped by intense individualism are no longer oppressed by "should" (which emerge from disciplinary cultures with a strict moral code) but rather "could" (an endless buffet of options and possibilities). We've moved from "I'll be there unless I'm out of town" to "I'll be there as long as nothing more interesting or fun presents itself and if I don't feel tired from all my other activities". Consequently, community groups of 12 members can consistently have 4-6 people at one time. Churches of 500 people have 200 people on a given Sunday. No one argues with the problem of loneliness in our culture and the desperate need for a rich sense of belonging, but walking the walk is a totally different scenario. Mark Sayers identifies there dynamics happening that water-down our ability to commit to a discipleship community:

• "Itemization" - a constant long list of possibilities advocating for our time.

• Seduction at scale - The better life is out there. You just need this new product, experience, relationship, etc. What gets are attention are things that are highly attractive and interesting. In a culture of abundance dopamine hits are available all over the place.

• High performance & high exhaustion - In an attention economy it's easy to be competitive with each other. We need to be an entrepreneur of the self and are constantly focused on life maximization. We find identity in performance, and the more we do and accomplish the more attention we get. It's a vicious cycle.

Processing My Own Reactions

I often feel bi-polar in my emotional reaction to less engagement at church. One week I'm completely okay with all the crazy schedules that pull us away from church and chose to focus my energy in valuing the places where people live, work and play. I actively resist the idea that church only happens within the structures of a brick and mortar building which is a critical truth. "Bring it on!" I tell myself. We need this kind of shift so that church's and pastors get over themselves and jump into congregational life in a fresh way.

Other times I feel frustrated. It's commonplace for us to sacrificially approach our budgets and schedules to make sports feasible for our children or to pursue a recreational wish list. We struggle to find commitment once every-other-week in a community group and yet most people have no problem bending over backwards to arrive at multiple practices and games each week. No families are prioritizing summer youth gatherings and yet we exchange endless stories of beach trips, cabin get-a-ways or local camping adventures. We say that we're "busy", almost on autopilot, yet somehow have time to work through several seasons of a favorite show.

In the midst of my own uncertainty of how I should be feeling and responding as a pastor I've come back to a few important ideas:

Quantitative engagement in church programs should never be the leading metric for discipleship. I've heard several New Testament scholars note that in the gospel accounts the writers intend to portray the crowds as a character in the narrative. In Mark in particular, this character is met with tremendous skepticism. Jesus experiences moments of significant popularity where throngs of people congregate around Jesus and his disciples eager to see what will happen next. But Mark notes their interest is in spectacle, not discipleship. It's in these moments, when the crowds are at their height, that Jesus teaches on the cost of discipleship. Immediately the crowds thin out. It's not because Jesus wanted to be exclusive. He longed for every single person to follow him. But he knew the danger of the crowd and understood the temptation towards religious consumerism. If we are going to take the gospels seriously we need a very different scorecard for ministry success. Perhaps increased Sunday attendance or growing youth group numbers reflect a strengthened faithfulness to Jesus. Or maybe not. In our south-central PA context it's possible to increase numbers by providing a menu of exciting religious experiences that people are looking for. In summary, decreased numbers shouldn't automatically produce discouragement as we look to the ministry of Jesus.

We must practice the discipline of always being grateful for who is there. Have you ever led some kind of event, been disappointed at the turnout, and spent more energy thinking about who was not there instead of focusing on the human beings right in front of you? I have. And it's not helpful for anyone. I say "discipline" because it takes mental fortitude to push aside feelings of disappointment and instead choose gratitude for those who have shown up. I've identified a new goal for myself this year: always be grateful for whoever is there, whether it's 3 people or 200.

Pursue Communal Simplicity. We typically consider simplicity through an individualistic lens: how can I declutter my home, my tech life or my finances? We should practice simplicity at a communal level as well which should give pastors pause in thinking that the fuller the church calendar the better. There is a place for programs, trainings and special events to facilitate community and discipleship. But churches - in the desire to offer a long menu of opportunities for their congregations - can become institutions that add to the noise and clutter of life.

Use bandwidth for other efforts. What if we spent less time offering the next event and more time meeting congregations for lunch at their workplace eager to learn about that part of their lives? What if instead of obsessing over a perfect slide deck for a presentation we committed to doing one home visit a week? What if we used some of the evenings we tend to be at church pulling off programs for opening our homes to individuals and families we don't know well. Perhaps the lack of engagement in programs pushes us to expand our pastoral imaginations beyond work that's traditionally done in a church office or sanctuary.

Be clear in naming the importance of sacrificial commitment in following Jesus. We should never coerce, guilt or shame people into Sunday attendance, community groups or serving on a team. Yet, we shouldn't feel uncomfortable inviting people into something more. For example, in order to experience meaningful spiritual friendships that challenge and encourage us towards Jesus, trust and vulnerability must be cultivated. This takes presence. This takes commitment. We must name this reality. Here's the key: congregants don't need to sacrificially commit to everything. That's how we institutionalize church and burn people out. But congregants should sacrificially commit to something. Every time say yes to an opportunity a purposeful no in another area of life is required. In the age of "could" and "itemization" we always give up something good for something better or more aligned with our core values in life. When I'm keenly aware of everyone's busyness I can be shy in inviting people into a discipleship that takes time and effort. I shouldn't be. Any decent coach, personal trainer, dietician, teacher or therapist has high expectations for people's presence and engagement. Why wouldn't we? The trick is not operating from a place of frustration, fear or insecurity when our invitations fall flat. People have to meet us half way and we can't control others.

Pastoral responses should always be contextual. There is never a one-size-fits-all response. Some in our congregations will need to be challenged into more commitment through an invitation into something more. Others will need to be assured that it's okay to say no and prioritize white space on the calendar. The single mom may need church to be, at least for an extended season, a place where she can show up, take a break and just breathe. An individual serving significantly on a refugee welcome team should not feel guilty needing to step away from another church commitment. The family welcoming in a foster child will understandably have less to give towards formal church ministries for a time. The family coming every-other-week on Sunday for the past two years should be challenged to consider more. Pastoral ministry is profoundly contextual and local. We would do well to process commitment at church an a very individual level.

In the aforementioned article in the Atlantic by Jake Meador where he interrogates the reasons for a lack of engagement in church, he offers a surprising remedy: increased commitment into the community:

American churches have too often been content to function as a kind of vaguely spiritual NGO, an organization of detached individuals who meet together for religious services that inspire them, provide practical life advice, or offer positive emotional experiences. Too often it has not been a community that through its preaching and living bears witness to another way to live.

Living in community in such a way that bears witness to another way to live can never be actualized through a pick-and-choose, "when it works" religious consumerism. Transformational church takes sacrificial commitment and presence. May we as church leaders graciously name this reality. And may we practice what we preach by finding ways in our own lives to sacrificially enter the lives of our congregation apart from our programs and initiatives.