Can We Actually Change? Reflections on Spiritual Formation

Prior to being a pastor I was the Director of Residence Life at Messiah University. I wore a bunch of hats in this position which was part of its intrigue. One responsibility was providing leadership to the student conduct process alongside the associate dean of students. I had the privilege of entering into the lives of students who had made mistakes or were even at rock bottom. Drug, alcohol or sexual addiction was at play in certain situations so I was grateful to collaborate with the counseling center as we pursued a restorative rather than a punitive process. Thanks so some great counselors I was exposed the the Transtheoretical Model of Change by Prochaska and DiClemente.

Prochaska and DiClemente suggest that the journey of recovery from addiction flows through the following stages of change:

• Precontemplation: Change is not on the radar screen. If change enters the mind it is quickly dismissed. An emphatic "no" is given when change is suggested.

• Contemplation: We become curious about the idea of change and open ourselves up to the possibility. A "no" has now softened into a "maybe".

• Preparation: As curiosity grows we ready ourselves for change. The "maybe" becomes a "yes" even though new habits and patterns have not begun.

• Action: We put our desire into action and implement healthier behaviors. However, since the action is still fresh, the potential for relapse is strong.

• Maintenance: The risk of relapse will always remain but it becomes less and less likely as initial actions are cemented into sustainable habits.

There is a lot of truth to this model. What undergirds the stages is a fundamental belief that we can - even in the grip of addiction - change. I appreciate how the model is both realistic (change often takes a while and the potential for relapse at any stage is named) and hopeful (real people can make real changes that lead to health and flourishing). But in order for change to happen there must be desire and a support network. One without the other will not lead to change.

In conversation with students I often found myself asking questions that circled back to levels of desire and support: "on a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your overall desire to eliminate binge drinking from your life?" If a student revealed a genuine desire to change I would ask "on a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your overall level of confidence that you can say no to binge drinking this weekend?" When desire was combined with strong support networks and developing skills then change became a real possibility. I observed many instances where students progressed through each stage towards health and stability.

Real Transformation in Christ?

Modern psychologists believe that real people can be transformed. Do we actually believe this in the church? No one would deny such a claim on paper. Of course we as Christians can and should experience fundamental change as we follow Jesus in order to look more like him. But maybe we don't actually believe in change like we should. Dallas Willard puts it this way:

First of all, we must be clear that such a transition as is envisioned in Christian spiritual formation can actually happen, and can actually happen to us. This, today, is not obvious…although there is much talk about ‘changing lives’ in Christian circles, the reality is very rare, and certainly much less common than the talk. The ‘failures’ of prominent Christian leaders might cause us to think genuine spiritual formation in Chrsitlikeness to be impossible for ‘real human beings.’ How is it, exactly, that a man or woman can respectably serve Christ for many years and then morally disintegrate?

I think Willard is really on to something. How can we actually be a disciple of Jesus if deep down we don't think change is possible? Of course it is! But too often we confuse slight tweaks to an already orchestrated life with deep transformation in Christ. Consumer-animated faith convinces us that church exists to affirm our already held beliefs and behaviors while providing important religious activities for the right occasions. This isn't a vision of real change. And Willard is right to point out the collapse of so many Christians leaders who have preached change in Christ. As a result, we begin to doubt whether change is possible. If (fill in the blank pastor caught in moral collapse) can't actually change even though they preached Jesus' ability to transform for decades, then maybe change isn't possible?

We are left with a critical question. Is the lack of change we often see a result of an inept faith? Perhaps it's the Christian faith that is at fault because it's a worldview that isn't capable of leading us into flourishing. Or is the lack of change due to our own half-hearted attempts? I tend to resonate with G.K. Chesterton when he famously said:

Christianity has not so much been tried and found wanting, as it has been found difficult and left untried

I know some agnostic or atheist friends would disagree with me but I believe that Jesus presents a beautiful, true and transformational way to live that is good for us and the world. It's been our half-hearted attempts or corrupt expressions of the faith that has stifled spiritual transformation in Christ and hurt other people.

James and John: From "Sons of Thunder" to Resilient Disciples

I've thought a lot about James and John lately. These two brothers were the sons of Zebedee and part of Jesus' band of twelve disciples. As we trace their journey through the gospel narratives and into the rest of the new testament we get glimpses into their journey of profound change. Their story of transformation is relevant to this moment in American Christianity where significant change is meant for those "super-christians" while the rest of us can go on with our lives.

We first meet James and John in Mark 1:19-20 when Jesus calls them to be his disciples:

A little farther up the shore Jesus saw Zebedee’s sons, James and John, in a boat repairing their nets. He called them at once, and they also followed him, leaving their father, Zebedee, in the boat with the hired men.

James was likely the older of the brother's as his name was listed first and they probably came from a family who did okay for themselves. After all, their father Zebedee had the means to hire other workers beyond immediate family. We don't know a lot about their backstory but we know this was the moment they encountered Jesus and their journey of profound transformation would begin.

We only get glimpses into their time with Jesus. But we can imagine all of the shared experiences, service projects, campsite conversations and belly-laughs they shared with him over those three years. When we see concrete stories of the disciples, the gospel writers don't make them look very good. In the language of Proachaska and DiClemente, relapse is always possible and often happened to the disciples due to pride and/or misunderstanding. We get such a glimpse in Luke 9:51-56:

As the time drew near for him to ascend to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. He sent messengers ahead to a Samaritan village to prepare for his arrival. But the people of the village did not welcome Jesus because he was on his way to Jerusalem. When James and John saw this, they said to Jesus, “Lord, should we call down fire from heaven to burn them up?” But Jesus turned and rebuked them. So they went on to another village

First, it's important to recognize the hatred and antagonism that existed between Jews and Samaritans. The social dynamic was rife with ethnic prejudice. The fact that Jesus took the disciples through Samaria (most jews preferred the longer journey around Samaria) gives us a window into an area Jesus was intentional to bring about change in his disciples, namely seeing the dignity in ones enemies. Not only are they traveling through Samaria but Jesus sought samaritan hospitality.

James and John respond instinctively based on the way they had been shaped to view the Samaritans by their tribe...with self-righteous intolerance. But Jesus will have none of it. they are rebuked and reminded that Jesus-centered change is one that turns enemies into friends.

The emotional, knee-jerk response we see in James and John in this passage is likely the reason why Jesus nicknamed them the "sons of thunder" as we read in Mark 3:16-19. Like all of us, they were radically included and welcomed by Jesus. But like all of us, no one who encounters Jesus is left unchallenged.

Mark 10:35-38 illustrates another moment where the pride and misunderstanding of James and John led to relapse as they followed Jesus:

Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came over and spoke to him. 'Teacher,' they said, 'we want you to do us a favor'. 'What is your request?' he asked. They replied, 'When you sit on your glorious throne, we want to sit in places of honor next to you, one on your right and the other on your left.' But Jesus said to them, 'You don’t know what you are asking! Are you able to drink from the bitter cup of suffering I am about to drink? Are you able to be baptized with the baptism of suffering I must be baptized with?'

This conversation immediately follows a moment where Jesus again predicts his death. This is the third passion prediction of Jesus in the gospel of Mark. The mental trajectories that Jesus and James and John are on in this moment could not be further from each other! Jesus is focused on self-sacrificial love that will take place on the cross. James and John are focused on jockeying for position in the coming kingdom. And for James and John this coming kingdom was not about floating on clouds next to Jesus in a disembodied heaven. They were envisioning an earthly kingdom where they say next to Jesus on thrones after he kicked Roman butt. This mixture of both pride and misunderstanding was a toxic one.

Some of us might find peace and comfort from recognizing the fallibility of the disciples. They got Jesus and discipleship so wrong so much of the time! Yet, this was a group that was profoundly changed and transformed by Jesus. Let's consider the fate of both of these men.

We know from the book of Acts (12:1-2) that James was the first disciple martyred for his faith in 44 A.D:

About that time King Herod Agrippa began to persecute some believers in the church. He had the apostle James (John's brother) killed with the sword.

The scripture is silent on the fate of John. However, if this is in fact the John who wrote the gospel of John, 1-3 John and Revelation (there is a ton of scholarly debate on this one. Many think it was actually a different John called "John the Elder") we know he became an apostle who proclaimed love in an incredibly difficult context to do so.

James and John were changed, not tweaked. I appreciate the realistic portrait of change that we see of the disciples in the gospels. This was not a linear journey devoid of relapse and struggle. Yet, fundamental change happened. Women and men were transformed to look more like Jesus. The old was gone, the new had come. Change was built on a foundation of grace but it also took effort and intentionality. As the disciples made a concerted effort to be near Jesus they put themselves in positions to receive grace and love which transformed them.

Change in Everyday Life

Let's make this conversation about change intersect with our real lives. In which area of our life do we need to experience significant change into Christlikeness? Do we believe we can change? Have we been putting in effort to position ourselves in front of God's grace so that we can be transformed?

As I reflect personally I immediately think of my neighborhood. We live on a road full of life. There are kids everywhere, and since the neighborhood is safe and fairly confined, most parents are comfortable allowing their kids to run free. I love this. But some days I don't.

When we moved into the neighborhood a year and a half ago our home and yard became to primary location where all the kids would play. Maybe it was our welcoming attitudes. Maybe it was because we have a yard while many of the children come from townhomes across the street with little space. Maybe it was the fact we had a basketball hoop in the driveway and a large trampoline in the backyard. Whatever the reasons, our home quickly became the community park. On your average summer weekend our door bell rings by 8am and continues to ring consistently through the day and into the evening. Children are constantly playing all around our house. Finding any space for our own family can at times feel impossible. On weeks that are particularly crazy I feel like we have to leave our house to get quality family time. When we try to set boundaries it can take more work to constantly reinforce them throughout the day so it's easier to just give up.

And you know what's happened? lately I have been more like scrooge than Jesus. I feel it in my soul. When I see the neighborhood kids I feel frustration rather than delight. They are an interruption rather than an opportunity. I immediately think about how I will get them to leave in order to have a little privacy rather than consider how our family and our stuff might bless the community.

I know this is not how Jesus would engage the children in my neighborhood. I know change needs to happen. But do I want to change? And do I think change is possible? Or will I be content with just trying not to be a complete jerk? This is where the conversation on change hits home for me. Will I submit my neighboring to the transforming power of Jesus or accommodate his call of discipleship to my own idols of privacy and control? Will I pursue change or will I work to change the call of Jesus to fit my life? In the midst of these questions I'm reminded of how essential it is to believe that change is absolutely possible.